“It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.”

“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.”

“When a house is on fire, the neighbors' duty is to put it out”

“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”

“Glenn Beck: And it goes nowhere if you go onto 'compassion, compassion, compassion, compassion' or well, 'They should've put it out, what is the fire department for?' No, what is the 75 dollars for. To keep the firemen available, to keep the firetrucks running, to pay for the fire department to have people employed to put the fire out. If you don't pay your 75 dollars then that hurts the fire department. They can't use those resources, and you would be sponging off your neighbor's 75 dollars if they put out your neighbor's house and you didn't pay for it — I mean, if your neighbor didn't pay for it, you did, and they put out their house — your neighbor is sponging off of your 75 dollars.
Pat Gray: And as soon as they put out the fire of somebody who didn't pay the 75 bucks,
(in unison) no one
Pat Gray: will pay the 75 dollars.
Glenn Beck: Why would you pay the 75 dollars, you don't have to, they're gonna put it out anyway? Nobody pays attention.”

“Engvall has an elk hung on the wall.
Neighbor: Oh, man. I didn't see that. God dang, did you shoot that thing?
Engvall: Nope. He ran through the wall and got stuck. Here's your sign.”

“If you beat your head against the wall, it is your head that breaks and not the wall.”

“God does not need your good works, but your neighbor does.”

“141. Love your neighbor, yet pull not downe your hedge.”

“Your back's against the wall and you're almost done for – it's Dunkirk all over again! (The Apprentice (To Paul, the ex-army Lieutenant before he is fired.)).”