“Most men give advice by the bucket, but take it by the grain.”

“My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.”

“Avoid taking advice from someone who gives advice for a living, unless there is a penalty for their advice.”

“The worst men often give the best advice.”

“The world's most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice…”

“I cannot properly give advice to anybody. It is very often supposed Judges can give advice, and I therefore take this public opportunity of saying that a Judge cannot do it.”

“I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.”

“and if I have any advice to give to anybody it’s this: take up watercolor painting.”

“And if my choice is to sit graciously in my best robes and accept the inevitable or to bail a sea with a bucket, give me the bucket.”

“Old men delight in giving good advice as a consolation for the fact that they can no longer provide bad examples.”