“Jesus' Wife: "And where have YOU been for the past three days, Mr. Winemaker?"
Jesus Christ: "It's okay, I'll tell you… Not that's important or anything, but I was DEAD!!! I'M IN A FUCKIN' GRAVE OUTSIDE OF TOWN! I'M FIGHTIN' DEATH, HELL, DECOMPOSURE! I'M CHANGIN' SPIRITUAL FORM, ABOUT TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND I GO "WAIT A SECOND! I GOTTA GO BACK BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN!"”

—  Sam Kinison

the argument Jesus Christ has with his wife following his return home after the Resurrection, Louder than Hell.

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

Help us to complete the source, original and additional information

Do you have more details about the quote "Jesus' Wife: "And where have YOU been for the past three days, Mr. Winemaker?" Jesus Christ: "It's okay, I'll tell you…" by Sam Kinison?
Sam Kinison photo
Sam Kinison 9
American comedian 1953–1992

Related quotes

Bill Engvall photo

“[about how he and his wife can't go out on a date, since they're married]
(A) I'm not going to get to pick the restaurant. Because I'm going to go "where do you want to eat?", and she's going to go "I don't care." So I'll say, "okay, how about Italian?" "Hmmmm…." I'm not going to get to pick the movie, and there's a real good chance I'm not going to get lucky! That's not a date!”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

Aged and Confused (2009)

Bill O'Reilly photo

“I'll tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it, I've been close to it… and if my unit is in danger, and I've got a captured guy, and the guy knows where the enemy is, and I'm looking him in the eye, the guy better tell me. That's all I'm gonna tell you. The guy better tell me. If it's life or death, he's going first.”

Bill O'Reilly (1949) American political commentator, television host and writer

“On the Road that I have taken, one day walking I awaken, amazed to see where I've come, where I'm going, where I'm from.”

Dean Koontz (1945) American author

Source: The Book Of Counted Sorrows

John Lennon photo

“I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people.”

John Lennon (1940–1980) English singer and songwriter
Dylan Moran photo

“A couple of days ago I saw one of those signs outside of churches and it said "Jesus said: I am the light of the world". Which is a very male view, you know, if Jesus had been Jesusina it would've been more modest. You know because it's a women, she would've been traditionally more modest. Jesusina would've gone: "Well I'm quite bright".”

Dylan Moran (1971) Irish actor and comedian

On religion.
What It Is (2009)

William Faulkner photo

“I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.”

William Faulkner (1897–1962) American writer

“I don't want to go to Peru."
How do you know? You've never been there."
I've never been to hell either and I'm pretty sure I don't want to go there.”

Richard Paul Evans (1962) American writer

Source: The Sunflower

“The meaning of my total existence involves knowing the possibilities of my future as well as my past, where I'm going as well as where I've been.”

Daniel Keyes book Flowers for Algernon

Flowers for Algernon (1966)

Britney Spears photo

“I think I'm still clean living, you know? That's something, when I—I don't go home and have orgies or anything like that. I'm still the same person that I've always been. So….”

Britney Spears (1981) American singer, dancer and actress

CNN interview with Tucker Carlson http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/03/cnna.spears/ (3 September 2003)

Related topics