“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”

“If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck!”

“When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck. ”

“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”

“Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie."
"Does this involve death?"
"Not yet."
"Does this involve sex?"
"Not yet."
"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.”

“The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck.”

“Well, yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck. Or a larger metal duck.”

“Rache! Glad you're… Tink loves a duck!" he said, wings clattering. "It stinks of sex in here. God, woman. I leave you alone for one night, and you're humping the ghost." - Jenks to Rachel”

“I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. Ducks love bread, but they can't buy any. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever. (in addition to and along with this duck line- a bit from the Letterman show)”

“We have a saying in the union: "If a fellow looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, the possibility is that he is a duck." That is the way with a Communist. If the guy does everything that the party does, the prospects are very good that he is a party member or fellow traveler.”