“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.”

“All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”

“When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.”

“The Eagle soars in the summit of Heaven, The Hunter with his dogs pursues his circuit..”

“Although I believe he is personally profiting from the proceedings, I hope that an appeal to his honor as a gentleman may bear fruit.”

“I hope you love birds too. It is economical. It saves going to heaven.”

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.”

“Logician: A cat has four paws.
Old Gentleman: My dog had four paws.
Logician: Then it's a cat.
Old Gentleman: So my dog is a cat?
Logician: And the contrary is also true.”

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

“When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.”