“Men. You can't live with them… and you can't legally shoot them. I tossed out my husband eight years ago and got a llama instead. Best decision I ever made.”

“I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands.”

“The thing is nowadays, you'll have 20 men working, yet 60 men telling them 'You can't do that, you ain't got a tin hat on'.”

“But if you shoot at everyone you see,
Can't be my friend 'cause you might shoot at me.”

“Tell them there are no holes for your fingers in the masks of men. Tell them how could you ever even hope to love what you can't grab onto.”

“So I made a mistake. That happens. It proves I'm human, which you know, for some people, is a revelation…. I was also told that the greeting ceremony had been moved away from the tarmac but that there was this eight-year-old girl and I said, 'Well, I, I can't, I can't rush by her, I've got to at least greet her.' So I greeted her, I took her stuff and I left. Now that's my memory of it.”

“…I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.”

“A year ago,' I said, 'you wouldn’t have asked this of me.'
'A year ago,' he answered, 'you wouldn’t have hesitated to drink.'
I crossed to the desk and tossed it down.”

“If I had been asked this about a year/year-and-a-half ago, I would have said "You can't trust everybody!" But now that I've been in the music industry, and famous, and on YouTube and stuff: "You can't trust everybody, at all."”

“Women. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.”