“I bet your mom would let me."
-Pigeon, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus-”

“I'll sit in the park and feed the pigeons for a while.'
We don't have pigeons.'
Then I'll feed the pterodactyls.”

“I bet you never thought the hardest part of finding your ‘saviorʹ would be getting her mom to let her stay out past curfew.”

“Pigeons on the grass alas.
Pigeons on the grass alas.
Short longer grass short longer longer shorter yellow grass.
Pigeons large pigeons on the shorter longer yellow grass alas pigeons on the grass.”

“In other words, Bush broke what I have always called the “Amish bus driver” rule. If your religion requires you not to drive, cool beans, free country — but then you can‘t get hired to be a bus driver if your religion won‘t let you drive the bus.”

“Bat, pigeon, ravens - I don't care about distinctions right now. Any fluttery, flappy thing is not cool with me.”

“So let me be your driver, let me be your driver
I would love to ride you, I would love to ride you downtown
Drive you so slow and easy you won't wanna put me down”

“Let me arrive safely back at my hotel room. Don't let me be attacked by a maniac wearing a french tickler and a space helmet. Don't let my beard become entangled in the gears of a transcontinental bus. And don't let me be hit by a flying turd.”

“All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.”

“Writers are as jealous as pigeons.”