“I'm a substitute mom."
"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.”

“I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.”

“Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army, if you fail”

“Two a. m.' He swallowed, then said, "You know. The person you can call at two a. m. and, no matter what, you can count on them. Even if they're asleep or it's cold or you need to be bailed out of jail…they'll come for you. It's like, the highest level of friendship.””

“I think you're the only person who gets me. When I'm with you, the world doesn't feel like a problem I can't figure out. Please come to the dance, because you're my music.”

“Bailing out people who made ill-advised mortgages makes no more sense that bailing out people who lost their life savings in Las Vegas casinos.”

“Roger: Yeah, and then they get kicked out and then I got to go bail them out and then the security guards are having a fit and then we have to send our tour manager to talk to whoever's running security. Ahh, it's crazy. Crazy times!”

“The best thing to do when you're in this world, don't you agree, is to get out of it. Crazy or not, scared or not.”

“She is out on bail after spending six months in jail. If everyone is united in their heartfelt welcome, everyone will be happy.”

“What? You’d dare drink right after getting out of jail for intoxication?”
That’s when you need a drink the most.”