“My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties. Welcome to my world.”

—  Bill Engvall

Cheap Drunk: An Autobiography (2002)

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

Help us to complete the source, original and additional information

Do you have more details about the quote "My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties. Welcome to…" by Bill Engvall?
Bill Engvall photo
Bill Engvall 71
American comedian and actor 1957

Related quotes

Norman Lamont photo

“My wife said she'd never heard me singing in the bath until last week.”

Norman Lamont (1942) British politician

Anatole Kaletsky, "Lamont looks on the bright side", The Times, 22 September 1992.
At a press conference in Washington DC, 21 September 1992. The event "last week" was 'Black Wednesday'.

John McCain photo

“And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago…”

John McCain (1936–2018) politician from the United States

Trying to make a joke, 26 June 2008 http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/jun/27/mccains-yucca-song-and-dance/
2000s, 2008

Bill Maher photo

“I am steady with my wife. I'm faithful to my wife.”

Ted Haggard (1956) American minister

Time Magazine http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1554388,00.html, accessed November 4, 2006

José Mourinho photo

“My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away. [After his Yorkshire Terrier had issues with customs. ]”

José Mourinho (1963) Portuguese association football player and manager

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

Julius Caesar photo

“I will not … that my wife be so much as suspected.”

Julius Caesar (-100–-44 BC) Roman politician and general

His declaration as to why he had divorced his wife Pompeia, when questioned in the trial against Publius Clodius Pulcher for sacrilege against Bona Dea festivities (from which men were excluded), in entering Caesar's home disguised as a lute-girl apparently with intentions of a seducing Caesar's wife; as reported in Plutarch's Lives of Coriolanus, Caesar, Brutus, and Antonius by Plutarch, as translated by Thomas North, p. 53
Variant translations:
Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.

José Mourinho photo

“My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away.”

José Mourinho (1963) Portuguese association football player and manager

After his Yorkshire Terrier had issues with customs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

Shahrukh Khan photo

“I believe that my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Shahrukh Khan (1965) Indian actor, producer and television personality

From interview with Pratim D. Gupta

Henny Youngman photo

“My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.”

Henny Youngman (1906–1998) American comedian

"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)

Plutarch photo

Related topics