“Don't do that… By the way, this is not Oprah furniture; you jump on this, and it will be firewood… Oprah's got the real thing, this stuff…this is about as real as that [points to cityscape backdrop] right there.”

“Because Oprah would be like "DID YOU DO COOOOCAAAAAAINE???"”

“Cause you know my joke is that I love her (Oprah Winfrey) but she thinks she's Jesus? And when she gets a paper cut she's like "Oh, stigmata?". No, Oprah. Get off the cross and do your show!”

“You got one choice at the beginning but if you didn't choose right, things got narrow real quick.”

“Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."

Have you been watching Oprah again?”

“I don't like a lot of the stuff that goes on in the art world, but it's hard to be old and like what goes on around you. Anyway, the real point is that the things that don't seem to me to be pictorially informed are not so interesting to me.”

“In real life I do violence, but for psychic stuff I do other things better.”

“When you do the right thing, good stuff has a way of happening.”

“The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines.”

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”