“A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God — I'm turning into my mother!"”
Jesus Is Magic (2005)
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Sarah Silverman 33
American comedian and actress 1970Related quotes
“I cut my pubes last night. My hairs were getting longer than my penis.”
Stated at the beginning of his radio show on 13 September 2006.
“My boyfriend was insanely sexy, vampire or not, and I couldn't keep my hands off him.”
Source: The Fiery Heart
“Oh my God, can you see me? I thought I was wearing my invisibility cloak.”
Source: Darkness Falls
“Lois Learned, Big Nurse, and I thought, Oh my God.”
The Paris Review interview (1994)
Context: I was performing The Sea Lion in the Newport Performing Arts Center. Afterwards a white-haired old woman approached me and said, Hey, you remember me? I looked her over, and I knew I remembered her, but had no idea who she was. She said, Lois. It still didn’t click. She said, Lois Learned, Big Nurse, and I thought, Oh my God. She was a volunteer at Newport, long since retired from the nursing business. This was the nurse on the ward I worked on at the Menlo Park hospital. I didn’t know what to think and she didn’t either, but I was glad she came up to me. I felt there was a lesson in it, the same one I had tried to teach Hollywood. She’s not the villain. She might be the minion of the villain, but she’s really just a big old tough ex-army nurse who is trying to do the best she can according to the rules that she has been given. She worked for the villain and believed in the villain, but she ain’t the villain.
“And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago…”
Trying to make a joke, 26 June 2008 http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/jun/27/mccains-yucca-song-and-dance/
2000s, 2008
“Is it sad that my first thought happened to be: Thank God I'm off the treadmill.”
Source: Alice in Zombieland
“Oh, I suppose my wife and I will open a bottle of champagne with another couple.”
On being told that he had won an Oscar for Best Actor (1967)
Quoted in Robert Simonson, "Paul Scofield, Commanding Actor of the British Stage, Is Dead at 86" http://www.playbill.com/news/article/116080.html, Playbill (2008-03-20)