“but I find her personality annoying. It's like being molested by a sleeping bag that speaks in Comic Sans with little love-hearts over the i's.”

“I met Courtney Love and she said she'd like to sleep with me, but she couldn't cos of my "pop-star thing"… so I said to her I couldn't sleep with her either - cos of her 'ugly thing'…”

“The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I'm the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying.”

“I'm the biggest nerd - I love comic books and stuff like that!”

“I despise the comic industry, but I will always love the comic medium.”

“I stared at myself in the mirror. Okay, just ugh. I had to get some sleep tonight - the bags under my eyes had bags.”

“I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.”

“Well, at heart I knew she'd never be a normal woman. And I didn't want her to be one, because what I loved in her were the indomitable and unpredictable aspects of her personality”

“Yeah I love my baby, heart and soul
Love like ours won't never grow old
She's my sweet little thang, she's my pride and joy
She's my sweet little baby, I'm her little lover boy”

“She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?”