Famous Zach Galifianakis Quotes
“This is my impression of a Southern woman. "Tsk, I am so mad at the Taliban right now!"”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron…and a lot like Patrick Ewing.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
Zach Galifianakis Quotes
“When you look like I do, it's hard to get a table for one at Chuck E Cheese.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“Hello, my name is Zach Galifianakis, and I hope I'm pronouncing that right.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“When I was a kid, I had dyslexia. And I would write about it in my dairy.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“I was named after my grandad. Yes, my name is Zach Grandad Galifianakis.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
Saturday Night Live (May 4, 2013)
“I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“Here's something you'll never see in Braille: "If you see something, say something."”
Saturday Night Live (May 4, 2013)
Saturday Night Live (March 12, 2011)
“I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
“I'm going to do all new, fresh material…you guys been keeping up with this O. J. thing?”
Live at the Purple Onion (2007)
Between Two Ferns (2008-2011)
.jpg){kind=link}