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Terry Pratchett Quotes
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Sir Terence David John Pratchett was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. His 2011 Discworld novel Snuff became the third-fastest-selling hardback adult-readership novel since records began in the UK, selling 55,000 copies in the first three days. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust , filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66. Wikipedia  

✵ 28. April 1948 – 12. March 2015  •  Other names Sir Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett: 796 quotes906 likes

Terry Pratchett Quotes

“He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Seeing things a human shouldn't have to see makes us human.”

Terry Pratchett book Thief of Time

Source: Thief of Time

“Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“When I am old I shall wear midnight.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“People don't like change. But make the change fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.”

Terry Pratchett book Monstrous Regiment

Source: Monstrous Regiment

“The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.”

Terry Pratchett

“They didn't have to be funny — they werejokes.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“Life is a trick, and you get one chance to learn it.”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.”

Terry Pratchett book Thief of Time

Source: Thief of Time

“Good or bad, do it as you. Too many lies and there's no truth to go back to.”

Terry Pratchett book Monstrous Regiment

Source: Monstrous Regiment

“Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"
"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.”

Terry Pratchett book Jingo

Source: Jingo

“Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting 'All Gods are bastards.”

Terry Pratchett

Variant: If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!
Source: The Color of Magic

“The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant.
You mean the sledgehammer, sir?
Yes.”

Terry Pratchett

“You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

“And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“Every step is a first step if it's a step in the right direction.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw up.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ.

—Death”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.”

Terry Pratchett book Monstrous Regiment

Source: Monstrous Regiment

“It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed… politely. pommes frites”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.”

Terry Pratchett book The Last Continent

Source: The Last Continent

“Do you know how wizards like to be buried?"
"Yes!"
"Well, how?"
Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs.
"Reluctantly.”

Terry Pratchett book Equal Rites

Source: Equal Rites

“I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.”

Terry Pratchett book Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters

“but what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed?”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?

The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said.

Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“Once you gave a thing a name, you gave it life.”

Terry Pratchett

“Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!”

Terry Pratchett book Wintersmith

Source: Wintersmith

“What did they feed the lions and tigers with in the ark, sir?”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“Lessee… he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with "er." Drunker. that was it.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“The girls were expected to grow up to be somebody's wife. They were also expected to read and write, those being considered soft indoor jobs that were too fiddly for the boys.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“It's daft, locking us up," said Nanny. "I'd have had us killed."
"That's because you're basically good," said Magrat. "The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we’ve always done it this way.’ A million dead people can’t have been wrong, can they?”

Terry Pratchett book The Fifth Elephant

Source: The Fifth Elephant

“Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.”

Terry Pratchett book Pyramids

Source: Pyramids

“You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies