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Terry Pratchett Quotes
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Sir Terence David John Pratchett was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. His 2011 Discworld novel Snuff became the third-fastest-selling hardback adult-readership novel since records began in the UK, selling 55,000 copies in the first three days. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust , filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66. Wikipedia  

✵ 28. April 1948 – 12. March 2015  •  Other names Sir Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett: 796 quotes906 likes

Terry Pratchett Quotes

“Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Interesting Times: The Play

“… it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.”

Terry Pratchett book Equal Rites

Source: Equal Rites

“Susan says, don't get afraid, get angry.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.”

Terry Pratchett book Soul Music

Source: Soul Music

“Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

“Bursar?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"
"Me? No, Archchancellor."
"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

“Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“Heaven has no taste."
"Now-"
"And not one single sushi restaurant."
A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a
red flag to a bu… was like putting something very annoying in front of
someone who was annoyed by it.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

“People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.”

Terry Pratchett book Maskerade

Source: Maskerade

“Listen, Peaches, is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“It was quite impossible to describe.

Here is what it looked like.

It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“An Assassin, a real Assassin, had to look like one - black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“The phrase 'Someone ought to do something' was not, by itself, a helpful one. People who used itadded the rider 'and that someone is me'.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“The turtle moves.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat.
-Lord Vetinari”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.”

Terry Pratchett book Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters

“It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.”

Terry Pratchett book Reaper Man

Source: Reaper Man

“And just when you’d think [humans] were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they occasionally showed more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of.”

Terry Pratchett

“I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.”

Terry Pratchett book Wintersmith

Source: Wintersmith

“William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."
Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“The worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.”

Terry Pratchett book Wintersmith

Source: Wintersmith

“Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”
“Sir?”
“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”
“Sir?”
“That’s practically zen.”

Terry Pratchett book Feet of Clay

Source: Feet of Clay

“Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Interesting Times: The Play

“People aren't just people, they are people surrounded by circumstances.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“Oh, Ivery angry a lot of the time," said Tiffany, "but I just put it away somewhere until I can do something useful with it.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“They think written words are even more powerful,’ whispered the toad. ‘They think all writing is magic. Words worry them. See their swords? They glow blue in the presence of lawyers.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged”

Terry Pratchett book Reaper Man

Source: Reaper Man

“The thing is, I mean, there’s times when you look at the universe and you think, “What about me?” and you can just hear the universe replying, “Well, what about you?”

Terry Pratchett book Thief of Time

Source: Thief of Time

“The librarians were mysterious. It was said they could tell what book you needed just by looking at you, and they could take your voice away with a word.”

Terry Pratchett book Wintersmith

Source: Wintersmith

“Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“Chances are where you find them”

Terry Pratchett book Moving Pictures

Source: Moving Pictures

“It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed', although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had been badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.”

Terry Pratchett book The Light Fantastic

Source: The Light Fantastic

“Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“It is true that words have power, and one of the things they are able to do is get out of someone’s mouth before the speaker has the chance to stop them.”

Terry Pratchett book Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters