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Terry Pratchett Quotes
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Sir Terence David John Pratchett was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. His 2011 Discworld novel Snuff became the third-fastest-selling hardback adult-readership novel since records began in the UK, selling 55,000 copies in the first three days. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust , filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66. Wikipedia  

✵ 28. April 1948 – 12. March 2015  •  Other names Sir Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett: 796 quotes906 likes

Terry Pratchett Quotes

“You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.”

Terry Pratchett book Johnny and the Bomb

Source: Johnny and the Bomb

“I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“… and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Bromeliad Trilogy

“Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”

Terry Pratchett book Monstrous Regiment

Source: Monstrous Regiment

“No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“My name is immaterial,' she said.
That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.”

Terry Pratchett book Maskerade

Source: Maskerade

“Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”

Terry Pratchett book Jingo

Variant: Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Source: Jingo

“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”

Terry Pratchett

“I hate cats."
Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant.
"I SEE," he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat haters.”

Terry Pratchett book Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters

“Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.”

Terry Pratchett book Maskerade

Source: Maskerade

“What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly.
When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,' recited Detritus, saluting.”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“So much universe, and so little time.”

Terry Pratchett

“Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.”

Terry Pratchett

“Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Small Gods
Variant: Just because you're an angel doesn't mean you have to be a fool.

Terry Pratchett quote: “There is always time for another last minute”

“There is always time for another last minute”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“Don't look back!"
"Why not?"
"Because I just did! Run faster!”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“It is at this point that normal language gives up, and goes and has a drink.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“But we're a university! Weto have a library!" said Ridcully. "It adds. What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the library?"

"Students," said Senior Wrangler morosely.”

Terry Pratchett book The Last Continent

Source: The Last Continent

“This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.”

Terry Pratchett book Monstrous Regiment

Source: Monstrous Regiment

“Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?”

Terry Pratchett Thud!

Source: Thud!

“There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.”

Terry Pratchett book A Hat Full of Sky

Source: A Hat Full of Sky

“Whut's the plan, Rob?" said one of them.
"Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right?"
This caused a cheer.
"Ach, 'tis a good plan," said Daft Wullie.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.”

Terry Pratchett book Soul Music

Source: Soul Music

“Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.”

Terry Pratchett book Thief of Time

Source: Thief of Time

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe.
Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.”

Terry Pratchett

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather