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Terry Pratchett Quotes
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Sir Terence David John Pratchett was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. His 2011 Discworld novel Snuff became the third-fastest-selling hardback adult-readership novel since records began in the UK, selling 55,000 copies in the first three days. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust , filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66. Wikipedia  

✵ 28. April 1948 – 12. March 2015  •  Other names Sir Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett: 796 quotes906 likes

Terry Pratchett Quotes

“If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“It's like chess, you know. The Queen saves the King.”

Terry Pratchett book The Shepherd's Crown

Source: The Shepherd's Crown

“Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village - the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges.”

Terry Pratchett book Equal Rites

Source: Equal Rites

“These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity.”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.”

Terry Pratchett book Thief of Time

Source: Thief of Time

“But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“THERE'S NO JUSTICE, said Mort. JUST US.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?”
“Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.”

Terry Pratchett book The Light Fantastic

Source: The Light Fantastic

“That, lad," he said proudly, "was some of the worst poetry I have heard for a long time. It was offensive to the ear and a torrrture to the soul…. We'll make a gonnagle out of ye yet!”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“He felt as if he had been shipwrecked on the Titanic, but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“In Ankh-Morpork you can be whoever you want to be and sometimes people laugh and sometimes they clap, and mostly and beautifully, they don't really care.”

Terry Pratchett book Raising Steam

Source: Raising Steam

“I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting "Forward, brave comrades!" you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!”

Terry Pratchett

“And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.'
Well, that’s harmless, isn’t it?'
Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies… it’s just a word.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“Yes, but humans are more important than animals,' said Brutha.
'This is a point of view often expressed by humans,' said Om.”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black!
No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.”

Terry Pratchett book Dodger

Source: Dodger

“That's the trouble, you see. When you've had hatred on your tongue for such a long time, you don't know how to spit it out.”

Terry Pratchett book Raising Steam

Source: Raising Steam

“He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn’t happen to you every year.”

Terry Pratchett book Reaper Man

Source: Reaper Man

“Whoever had created humanity had left in a major design flaw.
It was its tendency to bend at the knees.”

Terry Pratchett book Feet of Clay

Source: Feet of Clay

“I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. Somewhere in a book on the history of false teeth there’ll be the making of a novel.”

Terry Pratchett

“If women were as good as men they'd be a lot better!”

Terry Pratchett

“Carpe Jugulum," read Agnes aloud. "That's… well, Carpe Diem is 'Sieze the Day,' so this means-"
"Go for the throat”

Terry Pratchett book Carpe Jugulum

Source: Carpe Jugulum

“Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“the IQ of a mob is the IQ of its most stupid member divided by the number of mobsters”

Terry Pratchett book Maskerade

Source: Maskerade

“The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.”

Terry Pratchett book Carpe Jugulum

Source: Carpe Jugulum

“Money makes people rich; it is a fallacy to think it makes them better, or even that it makes them worse. People are what they do, and what they leave behind.”

Terry Pratchett book Dodger

Source: Dodger

“Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions; you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book.”

Terry Pratchett

“It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.”

Terry Pratchett book Pyramids

Source: Pyramids

“For example, the dwarfs found out how to turn lead into gold by doing it the hard way. The difference between that and the easy way is that the hard way works.”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?”

Terry Pratchett book Wintersmith

Source: Wintersmith

“I'VE NEVER BEEN VERY SURE ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT, said Bill Door. I AM NOT SURE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS RIGHT. OR WRONG. JUST PLACES TO STAND.”

Terry Pratchett book Reaper Man

Source: Reaper Man

“When all else failed, she tried being reasonable.”

Terry Pratchett book Johnny and the Bomb

Source: Johnny and the Bomb

“Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“We live and learn, or, perhaps more importantly we learn and live.”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“Tell someone you are going to rob them and all that will happen is that you'll get a reputation as a truthful man.”

Terry Pratchett

“Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong… But it might.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“I'm not a lady, I'm a witch.”

Terry Pratchett book Equal Rites

Source: Equal Rites

“I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, said Death, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE.”

Terry Pratchett book Soul Music

Source: Soul Music

“Even with nougat, you can have a perfect moment.”

Terry Pratchett book Thief of Time

Source: Thief of Time

“But you ain't part of it, are you?" said Granny conversationally. "You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?”

Terry Pratchett book Maskerade

Source: Maskerade