Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 24)

“Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.”

“I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!”

“His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.”

“Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.”

“Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge.”

“Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it.”

“Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.”

“The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.”

“It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.”

“Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.”

“One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.”

“… William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.”

“Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.”

“Modesty is only arrogance by stealth.”

“Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.”

“Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!”

“You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes.
"You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly.
"Not where I'm aiming, sir.”

“And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.”

“… people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually because it was shorter. And it was more colorful, if you liked the color of blood.”