Scott Lynch Quotes

“The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games—” “—is Locke Lamora—”

“Gentlemen Bastards." hissed Locke, "do not abandon one another, and we do not run when we owe vengeance.”

“When you see the Crooked Warden," said Locke, twisting something in his hands, "tell him that Lock Lamora learns slowly, but he learns well. And when you see my friends, you tell them that there are more of you on the way.”

“[W]hen you find yourself face to face with one [Bondsmage], you bow and scrape and mind your 'sirs' and 'madams.'"

…

'Nice bird, asshole,' said Locke.”

“Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone… not even to ourselves.”

“Only one way to win when you're being chased by someone bigger and tougher than you. Turn straight around, punch their teeth out, and hope the gods are fond of you.”

“I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But… can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!”

“I don’t need to be reminded that we’re up to our heads in dark water. I just want you boys to remember that we’re the gods-damned sharks.”

“Can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming 'Your cats! Give us all your god-damned cats!”

“”Oh, gods,” he cried. ”Oh, gods protect me! It’s you!”
“Of course it’s me,“ said Locke. “You just don’t know who the hell I am yet.“”

“There’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.”

“What is government but theft by consent?”

“A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.”

“Nice bird, asshole!”

“You can’t help being young, but it’s past time that you stopped being stupid.”

“We’re a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don’t believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more.”

“Know something? I'd lay even odds that between the people following us and the people hunting us, we've become this city's principle means of employment. Tal Verrar's entire economy is now based on.”

“Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind”

“Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.”

“If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.”

“Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.”

“I don't expect life to make sense," he said after a few moments, "but it could certainly be pleasant if it would stop kicking us in the balls.”

“Worst of all, the inner vault is guarded by a live dragon, attended by fifty naked women armed with poisoned spears, each of them sworn to die in Requin's service. All redheads.
-You're just making that up, Jean.”

“You simply collapsed, sir. In layman's terms, your body revoked its permission for you to continue heaping abuse upon it.”

“So that makes us robbers of robbers," said Bug, "who pretend to be robbers working for a robber of other robbers.”

“What kind of knife is this?” Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains’ inspection. “It’s all wrong. You couldn’t kill anyone with this.”

“My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush.”

“When the sky’s falling, I take shelter under bullshit.”

“You're one third bad intentions, one third pure avarice, and one eighth sawdust. What's left, I'll credit, must be brains.”

“I can’t name the poison that’s killing your friend. But the one that’s killing you is called hope.”

“It was strange, how readily authority could be conjured with nothing but a bit of strutting jackassery.”

“Those prancing little pants-wetters come here to learn the colorful and gentlemanly art of fencing, with its many sportingand its proscriptions againstengagements. You on the other hand, you are going to learn how to.”

“Advice,” chuckled Doña Vorchenza. “The years play a sort of alchemical trick, transmuting one’s mutterings to a state of respectability. Give advice at forty and you’re a nag. Give it at seventy and you’re a sage.”

“I suspect this is all gonna end in screaming and drowning”

“My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it”

“Maxilan, darling." Locke raised one eyebrow and smiled. "I knew you were driven, but I had no idea you could smoulder. Come, take me now! Jean won't mind; he'll avert his eyes like a gentleman.”

“Are you smarter than a pig, Locke?”
“On occasion,” said Locke. “There are contrary opinions.”

“Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time.”

“If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing.”

“I'm not as reckless as I used to be. You know, when I was little.”

“I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.”

“Congratulations! We’re reverse burglars, here to give you fifty gold solari!”

“You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street.”

“But you didn't die."
"Clever lad, to deduce that from such slender evidence after living with me for just three years.”

“What thief does not fight to hold what he has?"

"One that has something better," said Locke.”

“In a fair fight, the don's man would almost certainly paint the walls with Locke and Calo's blood, so it stood to reason that this fight would have to be as unfair as possible.”

“I trust my points are noted… Very noted… Received, recognized, and duly considered with the utmost gravity. Sealed, notarized, and firmly imprinted upon my rational essence.”

“We may need to ready ourselves to repel boarders.” “With what? One stiletto and hurtful insinuations about their mothers?”

“They kissed for the sort of endless moment that only exists between lovers whose lips are still new territory to one another.”

“You’ll pardon me,” he finally said, “if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a heart is suddenly overflowing with generosity toward me leaves me wanting to arm myself and put my back against a wall.”

“I'm fit and I'm angry, and I'm obviously crazy. Anything could happen.”

“The only constant in the soul of man is inconstancy; anything and everything else can pass out of fashion--even something as utilitarian as a hill stuffed full of corpses.”

“This is where you and I are headed…. Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated”

“You’ve the presence of a mouse fart in a high wind. Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.”

“We have a new problem, fresh from the oven and hot as hell.”

“You’re ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass.”

“The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet.”

“I keep asking myself," whispered Sabetha, giving Locke's arm a squeeze, "ARE we smarter than that woman's chicken?"

"At the moment, it's an open question," said Locke.”

“Justice is red.”

“You're my favorite complication.”

“Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they’re after an image, not a person.”