Robert A. Heinlein Quotes

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“There is no safety this side of the grave”

“Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil.”

“I know why we laugh. We laugh because it hurts, and it's the only thing to make it stop hurting.”

“My dear, I used to think I was serving humanity… and I pleasured in the thought. Then I discovered that humanity does not want to be served; on the contrary it resents any attempt to serve it. So now I do what pleases myself.”

“Geniuses and supergeniuses always make their own rules on sex as on everything else; they do not accept the monkey customs of their lessers.”

“It is impossible for anyone to be responsible for another person's behavior. The most you or any leader can do is to encourage each one to be responsible for himself.”

“The first principle of freedom is the right to go to hell in your own handbasket.”

“Butterflies are not insects,' Captain John Sterling said soberly. 'They are self-propelled flowers.”

“Remember, though, your best weapon is between your ears and under your scalp—provided it’s loaded.”

“One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.”

“A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld.”

“Does history record any case in which the majority was right?”

“Do this. Don't do that. Stay back in line. Where's tax receipt? Fill out form. Let's see license. Submit six copies. Exit only. No left turn. No right turn. Queue up and pay fine. Take back and get stamped. Drop dead— but first get permit.”

“God created men to test the souls of women.”

“If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for… but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong.”

“I came, I saw, she conquered."
The original Latin seems to have been garbled.”

“Democracy is a poor system of government at best; the only thing that can honestly be said in its favor is that it is eight times as good as any other method the human race has ever tried.”

“Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.”

“If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.”

“I don't see why human people make such a heavy trip out of sex. It isn't anything complex, it is simply the best thing in life, even better than food.”

“Most neuroses and some psychoses can be traced to the unnecessary and unhealthy habit of daily wallowing in the troubles and sins of five billion strangers.”

“Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.”

“The slickest way in the world to lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time-and then shut up.”

“Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.”

“Never own more than you can carry in both hands at a dead run.”

“He's an honest politician--he stays bought.”

“My old man says when it's time to be counted, the important thing is to be man enough to stand up.”

“Any group is weaker than a man alone unless they are perfectly trained to work together.”

“I'm always suspicious of disinterested interest.”

“To permit irresponsible authority is to sell disaster.”

“Thou art god, I am god. All that groks is god.”

“A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.”

“Never tease an old dog; he might have one bite left.”

“Sense is never common.”

“Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.”

“Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.”

“Faith strikes me as intellectual laziness.”

“Logic is a way of saying that anything which didn't happen yesterday won't happen tomorrow.”

“No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.”

“Government! Three fourths parasitic and the other fourth Stupid fumbling.”

“Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun--and neither can stop the march of events.”

“Listen, son—most women are damn fools and children. But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The brave ones are braver, the good ones are better—and the vile ones are viler.”

“There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know.”

“Women are amazing creatures-sweet, soft, gentle, and far more savage than we are.”

“Being sorry won't get you into heaven. Get happy, son. Get that old spring into your step and stay on your toes.”

“ANYTHING will burn with enough gasoline and dynamite.”

“Budget the luxuries first.”

“I grok in fullness.”

“Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds.”