P. J. O'Rourke: Thing

P. J. O'Rourke is American journalist. Explore interesting quotes on thing.
P. J. O'Rourke: 370 quotes20 likes

“One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

“In a society where commonweal does not exist, there are no duties, only exactations to be avoided, and no freedoms, only privileges to be grabbed. There can be no such thing as "public services" because nothing in the country is truly public. Everything is somebody's fief. And every fief must be exploited if the exploiter cares to survive.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“Something is happening to America, not something dangerous but something all too safe. I see it in my lifelong friends. I am a child of the "baby boom," a generation not known for its sane or cautious approach to things. Yet suddenly my peers are giving up drinking, giving up smoking, cutting down on coffee, sugar, and salt. They will not eat red meat and go now to restaurants whose menus have caused me to stand on a chair yelling, "Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, dinner is served!" This from the generation of LSD, Weather Underground, and Altamont Rock Festival! And all in the name of safety! Our nation has withstood many divisions—North and South, black and white, labor and management—but I do not know if the country can survive division into smoking and non-smoking sections.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Republican Party Reptile

Republican Party Reptile (1987)

“Foreigners may pretend otherwise, but if English is spoken loudly enough, anyone can understand it, the British included. Actually, there’s no such thing as a foreign language. The world is just filled with people who grunt and squeak instead of speaking sensibly. French may be an exception. But since it’s impossible to figure out what French people are saying, we’ll never know for sure.”

P. J. O'Rourke

Modern Manners (1983)

“One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on.”

P. J. O'Rourke

Rolling Stone (30 November 1989) https://books.google.com/books?id=4cl5c4T9LWkC&amp;pg=PA347&amp;lpg=PA347&amp;dq=%22the+annoying+things+about+believing+in+free+will+and+individual+responsibility%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=87tHwdgxHT&amp;sig=t-cX3HtpzKcKAd5GztMu4YkLLgM&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=Jl7OSvzgFpCMtgemntGEBA&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=7&amp;ved=0CBwQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&amp;q=%22the%20annoying%20things%20about%20believing%20in%20free%20will%20and%20individual%20responsibility%22&amp;f=false <br class="br">Context: One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it&#x27;s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver&#x27;s license.

“One thing that's certain about going outdoors: When you come back inside, you'll be scratching.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

“Human problems are complex. If something isn't complex it doesn't qualify as problematic. Very simple bad things are not worth troubling ourselves about.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

“Most of the chapters of this book were written while the events described were taking place. Reading the manuscript, I notice there's a lack of continuity between the chapters. One thing doesn't lead to another. This is because, in the 2016 presidential campaign, as far as I can tell, one thing didn't lead to another…. if my book lacks a coherent narrative it's because I couldn't find one.”

P. J. O'Rourke

Author's Note
How The Hell Did This Happen? (2017)

“The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things…. It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Give War a Chance

Give War a Chance (1992)

“Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And — since women are a majority of the population — we'd all be married to Mel Gibson.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

“Things are better now than things have been since men began keeping track of things. Things are better than they were only a few years ago. Things are better, in fact, than they were at 9:30 this morning, thanks to Tylenol and two Bloody Marys. But that's personal and history is general. It's always possible to come down with the mumps on V-J Day or to have, right in the middle of the fall of the Berlin Wall, a piece of it fall on your foot. In general, life is better than it ever has been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden age of pleasure and plenty to which you would, if you were able, transport yourself, let me say one single word: 'dentistry.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“Even the bad things are better than they used to be. Bad music, for instance, has gotten much briefer. Wagner's Ring Cycle takes four days to perform while "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by the Crash Test Dummies lasts little more than three minutes.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners— two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

“A careful reading of 50 Simple Things leaves you wondering whether you're going to die from environmental disaster or intellectual annoyance. Failing either, you can worry yourself to death.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

“If we're going to improve the environment, the first thing we should do is duck the government. The second thing we should do is quit being moral. Screw the rights of nature. Nature will have rights as soon as it get duties. The minute we see birds, trees, bugs, and squirrels picking up litter, giving money to charity, and keeping an eye on our kids at the park, we'll let them vote.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“Ecology is the science of everything. Nobody knows everything. Nobody even knows everything about any one thing. And most of us don't know much. Say it's ten-thirty on a Saturday night. Where are your teenage children? I didn't ask where they said they were going. Where are they really? What are they doing? Who are they with? Have you met the other kids' families? And what is tonight's pot smoking, wine-cooler drinking, and sex in the backseats of cars going to mean in a hundred years? Now extend these questions to the entire solar system.”

P. J. O'Rourke

All the Trouble in the World (1994)