Nicole Hollander: Trending quotes

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Nicole Hollander: 206 quotes1 like

“(Woman psychic to woman client) So how come the tall, dark, handsome stranger I see in your future is a woman?”

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 57

“(Devil describes Hell) It's like you go to a Van Halen concert and you're the oldest one there, and there's a mix-up in the tickets, and you have to stand for the whole thing and it's hot and the kid next to you loses his lunch on your shoe.... I know.”

Nicole Hollander

You thought it was going to be witty and Noel Cowardish.
Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 133

“(Sylvia) A mature person doesn’t scream at her waiter: “Don’t tell me your name and don’t put anything freshly ground on my salad!””

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 69

“(Television) We are aggressively striking the terrorists in Iraq, defeating them there so that we will not have to face them in our own country. (Sylvia) Oh, good. So once we get rid of those, there won't be any more.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 105

“(Man in bar) I have the right to bear arms. It's in the Constitution. (Sylvia) I'm in complete agreement. I'd like to see a lot more women carry guns. [Pause] Cat got your tongue?”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 9

“(Sylvia at typewriter) Common misunderstandings of young married couples. (Young husband to tearful wife) Jeannie, when I said that your dinner tasted like airplane food, that was meant as a compliment.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 55

“(Sylvia) Rita! Is Bush still president? (Rita) Ma, I didn't want to tell you…You seemed so happy.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 108

“(Sylvia’s answering machine) Hi, at the sound of the beep please tell me what you like best about me.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 86

“(Sylvia to her daughter) Rita, your body may be a temple. Mine is a Chevy Vega.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p.105

“(The Woman Who Does Everything Better Than You) …it's a worse shock to lose one of your five homes than it is to lose your only home. I'm sure psychologists will back me up on this.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 87

“(Television) Women hold up half the sky. (Sylvia) Uh huh, but in a poor neighborhood.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 206

“(Man in bar) The kind of woman I want just isn't around anymore. (Sylvia) Perhaps if you wait for a full moon.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 24

“(Telephone) Hi, this is Sylvia's opinion hotline…. How fair are you? Would you support laws mandating discrimination in hiring, housing, and employment against anyone who lacked a sense of humor, knowing that these laws would impact most heavily on fundamentalists?”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 68

“(Second Bad Girl) Women who form relationships with murderers [in prison]. I don't get it. (First bad girl) Well, you know where they are at nights. (Second bad girl) At least, they're not lying on your couch watching TV.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 67

“(Woman to psychic) Which do you think is the more impossible dream: the perfect man or the perfect handbag?”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 52

“(Cat) In 1989, I resolve to develop a longer attention…”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 124

“Woman to Devil) I want to refinance my soul. (Devil) You’re going to take a bath on points. (p.78”

Nicole Hollander

Sylvia cartoon strip

“(Pilot’s voice on airplane public address system) Geez, I’m sorry about that landing.... Why don’t I just go up and try again?”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 52

“(Sylvia at typewriter) For feminine protection, every day use a hand grenade.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 112

“(Television) Spray and wash gets out what America gets into. (Sylvia) Send some to El Salvador.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 39