Nicole Hollander: Trending quotes

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Nicole Hollander: 206 quotes1 like

“(Man on television) Man is the hunter. Woman is the civilizing influence, and when women abandon that role, men become (Sylvia) Cranky, and start wars.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p.169

“(Television announcer) The Supreme Court staggered the nation today when they ruled that conception begins the minute you think about sex.”

Nicole Hollander

Variant: (Television announcer) The Supreme Court staggered the nation today when they ruled that conception begins the minute you think about sex. (pp. 60-61)
Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, pp. 60-61

“(Woman sitting by swimming pool) To me the most important quality in a kitchen is that it be in someone else's house, or in a restaurant.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 124

“(Dr. Paul Johns, animal linguist, on cats) It seems their entire language consists of two phrases, uttered with varying degrees of intensity: "Hurry that dinner, willya" and "Everything here is mine."”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 35

“(Sylvia) A really good haircut is as effective in changing one’s life as A) 3 months of psychotherapy. B) 6 months of psychotherapy.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 25

“(Voice on television) Mom, can a douche make you feel more confident? (Sylvia) Not like a good stock portfolio.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 77

“(Television) The brain is differently wired in men and women. (Sylvia) In men, the wires are loose.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 26

“(Cat) So she says I can’t have catnip any more because it’s like a drug. So, like, what’s she worried about: I’m not going to do well in school or what?”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 97

“(Sylvia FineLine greeting card) Before you showed us your financial statement, we felt poor…but after leaving your house, we felt so pumped we bought a second car!”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 114

“(Wicked witch hexing babies) Women of future generations will have undreamt of career opportunities. You two will use yours to despoil the environment.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 89

“(Sylvia driving to nervous passenger Venusian Gernif) Don't be silly. You're not going to be the first interplanetary traveler to die in a Chevy.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 134

“(Woman in office) Help, I am a rich woman being kept prisoner in a working woman's body.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 196

“(Voice on television) Honey, I love you, but I got to be moving on. (Sylvia) Break his kneecaps.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 49

“(Television) A recent study concludes that women over 40 have statistically as much chance of getting killed by a terrorist as of getting married. (Sylvia) And would rather.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 28

“(Signs on refrigerator) Could be a leftover tuna casserole inside…Or one of those pesky, black…U. N. helicopters.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 51

“(Cartoon title) Don't throw that old diaphragm away! (Sylvia at typewriter) Because it can be used as: 1. Doorknob cover (no need to worry about fingerprints ever again) 2. Bathtub stopper 3) Rainhat for cat 4. Small frisbee.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 121

“(Mary Frances) …look-alike wives for humiliating public appearances…The pseudo-wife's job is to look supportive, while the real spouse is at home throwing his stuff out the window.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 111

“(Sylvia to Venusian Gernif): What would happen if you wore a dress? Well, some people would invite you to parties. And some people would attempt to beat you to death.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 221

“(Sylvia) You almost never see a real lady popping out of a cake.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 30

“(Man at bar) You know the kind of woman I could really go for?... Someone intelligent, witty, passionate about her work, totally involved in life, and willing to give it all up for me.”

Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, pp. 216-217