Michael McIntyre: Quotes about people

Michael McIntyre is British comedian. Explore interesting quotes on people.
Michael McIntyre: 30 quotes1 like

“And traffic! Traffic's a nightmare! That's how people describe it, a nightmare. Has anyone had this nightmare? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" "What is it, darling? Are you all right?" "No, I'm not all right at all!" "What was it?"”

Michael McIntyre

"TRAFFIC!!!"
Live and Laughing (2008)

“People still, old people, insist on picking up the phone and saying their home number, why are you doing that? What a complete waste of time. [imitating old person] "020767944!" [exasperated person on other end] "I know that, I've just dialled it! It's the last thing I did on earth was dial those numbers. Do you open the front door and say your address? It's the same principle."”

Michael McIntyre

Live at the Apollo (November 26, 2007)

“It's never enough to say you’re from London, people want to know exactly where you’re from. They see it as more of a test of their own geographical knowledge. You say "I’m from London" people go [high pitched excited voice] "Where abouts, where abouts, where abouts, where abouts exactly, where abouts?" "Uh… North London." If they know it they get more excited. [more excited voice] "Where abouts, where abouts, where abouts?" "Muswell Hill" [even more excited voice] "Where abouts? Where abouts?!" "Do you know Sainsbury’s?"”

Michael McIntyre

"Yeeeeeeessssssssss!"
Live at the Apollo (November 26, 2007)

“[about public transport] It's unbelievable. People are so desperate to get home. The trains come very regularly, you see them, one minute, two minutes, three minutes… this means nothing to people. As soon as you get on the platform it's a level playing field. I don't care when you arrived, I'm getting on this train.”

Michael McIntyre

Live at the Apollo (November 26, 2007)

“[about travelling by train]"Please let the passengers off the train first." British people have an amazing ability to let people off a train whilst at all times, moving forwards.”

Michael McIntyre

Live at the Apollo (November 26, 2007)

“And everyone's reading, you have to read, you can't be on the tube without reading, reading is very important. You get on on the morning and every single person is reading the Metro. Everyone, everyone. [imitates line of people reading newspaper] Why doesn't one person just read it to the carriage?”

Michael McIntyre

Live at the Apollo (November 26, 2007)