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Marcus Brigstocke Quotes

Marcus Alexander Brigstocke is an English comedian, actor and satirist who also holds French citizenship. He has worked in stand-up comedy, television, radio and musical theatre.

He is particularly associated with the BBC, having frequently appeared on many of its shows.

✵ 8. May 1973
Marcus Brigstocke photo
Marcus Brigstocke: 7 quotes0 likes

Famous Marcus Brigstocke Quotes

“All big cities are the same now. It used to be easier at weekends. Not anymore, you get the white stretch limos everywhere. You see them at first, you think, "Is it a celebrity or a foreign dignitary?" No, its some slags. No one's sure how many slags, cause the windows are tinted. All you can say with any real degree of accuracy is that there is an indescriminate number of slags in said vehicle. There's at least two poking out the sunroof.”

Marcus Brigstocke

Live At The Apollo (2006)

“We humans who art on Earth, humanity is special, our kingdom has come. Do what we innately know to be right, on Earth because that's all there is. Share the bread we have, try not to screw up. When others screw up, understand. We can't have everything that tempts us (Unless we work in international finance). Deliver ourselves from evil because this is it. The Earth, the power to do right, and the glory that will come if we do is ours, now and forever. Hu-man.”

Marcus Brigstocke

The Now Show

“I don't like David Blaine, he is the ultimate git wizard.”

Marcus Brigstocke

Planet Corduroy (2007)

“Would you like the oldest, most historically significant athletic competition the world has ever known, attracting athletes from every known nation on the face of the planet to come here and perform at the peak of their abilities, in the very city where you live? Most British people go, "Where will we park?!"”

Marcus Brigstocke

Live At The Apollo (2006)

“[on global warming] There's a group of people who, a little while ago, were saying, "It's not happening." That same group of people are now saying, "Alright, it is happening, but it's not our fault." That's a very dodgy position to be in. That's like saying, "I'm not having an affair, and, anyway, she seduced me".”

Marcus Brigstocke

Planet Corduroy (2007)

“[On David Cameron] When I heard this inherited multi-million ex-Etonian talking about a culture of entitlement, well, I'm sorry, but my irony meter went through the red and then exploded in a gale of bitter laughter. It actually went "HAA!" I was furious, because I've only just had a new irony metre installed after Rebekah Brooks complained about how she had been unfairly reported by the British press.”

Marcus Brigstocke

The Now Show

“If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.”

Marcus Brigstocke

Live At The Apollo (2006)

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