Kathy Griffin: Likeness

Kathy Griffin is American actress and comedian. Explore interesting quotes on likeness.
Kathy Griffin: 138 quotes1 like

“I know I'm going to Hell. And I think I might see a few of you there. When I get there, it'll be like (waving) "Hi", "Hi", "Oh my God…. Hi!"”

Kathy Griffin

Straight To Hell (2007)

“People with cancer like to wear jogging suits.”

Kathy Griffin

Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)

“I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be…ahm…. voluptuous!”

Kathy Griffin

Balls of Steel (2009)

“They would give us these helicopter rides, and every time we'd get on, the drivers would say "now do you want to ride, or do you want to rrrride? On the helicopter! I'd be like "I want the ride… the first one… the boring one… the ride. I don't want the "rrrride"… I want the ride!”

Kathy Griffin

Allegedly (2004)

“Isn't Scientology one of those things where you really like someone and once you hear they're a Scientologist, you're like "I'm out?"”

Kathy Griffin

Allegedly (2004)

“All of a sudden, I'm thinking, these guys [Afghani men] aren't so bad. I'm like the type of asshole where if you're nice to me once, I'm your friend for life. Sure, you hacked your kid's clit off, but you were nice!”

Kathy Griffin

Allegedly (2004)

“(After Houston asks the audience in Central Park to sing along to a new, un-aired song) And the poor gays with the signs are like "We don't know that song yet…. it's not even (on the radio)…go Diva…. I mean, we don't know that song. I would like to…I don't…??"”

Kathy Griffin

Balls of Steel (2009)

“(On William Shatner) He is like my favourite red-faced, bloated booze bag.”

Kathy Griffin

Straight To Hell (2007)

“(Recalling her conversation with Anna Nicole Smith eating lunch) All of a sudden, she takes a bite of something and she goes like this (makes a disgusted face) "I don't lahk it." I go, "What's the matter, honey?" and she goes "I don't lahk it. I thought it was mashed pataters." PA-TAY-TERS! I heard it with my own ears. PATATERS. Britney probably wants to marry her now. So, anyway, I looked on her plate and said, "No, it's polenta" and, I swear to God, she looks at me and goes "Pimento?" I said, "No, that's an olive. "Polenta"”

Kathy Griffin

it's like mushed-up cornmeal." She goes, "I don't lahk it. I thought..." Mashed pateters, I got it.
The D-list (2004)

“Because Oprah would be like "DID YOU DO COOOOCAAAAAAINE???"”

Kathy Griffin

Balls of Steel (2009)

“Cause you know my joke is that I love her (Oprah Winfrey) but she thinks she's Jesus? And when she gets a paper cut she's like "Oh, stigmata?". No, Oprah. Get off the cross and do your show!”

Kathy Griffin

Strong Black Woman (2006)

“Elin Nordegren could not be happier. How many girls here would trade places with her in a second? Where do I sign? First of all, she doesn't have to bang him (Tiger Woods) anymore! And she's probably gonna get, like $500 million! So they keep getting these pictures of her with the two kids, and she's just laughing all the way to the bank…haaa haaa haaa haaa…heugen fleugen heugen fleugen…hjorda fjorda hjorda fjorda…”

Kathy Griffin

Whores on Crutches (2010)

“Have you guys noticed that Madonna is British now? OK, let's talk about her lineage for a minute. Raised in Michigan, moved to New York, is British. She started turning British like at the Golden Globes and she was doing the interviews and she says "telly" instead of "television" and she uses the word "actually" way too much and then she's also sorta bringing her voice down to a register around here (brings her voice down) and she's being interviewed for the Golden Globes and she's got whole, you know, crazy hair that everybody hated and everybody has and they were saying, "Well, Madonna, we're so glad to have you at the Golden Globes." (speaks in Madonna British accent) "Well, actually, it is more fun to come here than watch it on the telly". You know. Look, I'm from the midwest- its a TV.”

Kathy Griffin

Hot Cup Of Talk (1998)

“She reaches under and grabs my peech and like, squeezes it and walks away. I run over to Brooke and go "Your mother just molested me. I could sue you and own this house!"”

Kathy Griffin

Allegedly (2004)

“When Sharon Stone asks you to do something, you just just do it. If Sharon Stone asked me to eat her poo, I'd be like "yeah, what's a good time for you?".(Pretending to eat poo) "This is really good poo Sharon, thanks".(To the audience) Stop picturing it……….. and come back!”

Kathy Griffin

The D-list (2004)

“Everytime she walks out (on stage), she acts like she's shocked anyone showed up! Every night! As if every single day, at about 3 o'clock, she's like, "You know Rene, maybe tonight iz ze night zey do not come?"”

Kathy Griffin

Strong Black Woman (2006)

“So then, I go to this other guy who's just a civilian guy and minding his own business and I go to him like this "Burka - NO"! "Burka - BAD!"”

Kathy Griffin

Like he's one of my dogs!
Allegedly (2004)

“I knew the minute I heard the "gay inhale". He literally goes "Diva, what are you doing here?". It was heaven! I found my gay, even in Kandahar, Afghanistan! He plonks down next to me, puts the tray down, puts his gun down… he's like "Errghh, girl, I'm on graveyard tonight… I am a wreck… I'm exhausted… my roommates are all snoring, yee-ukk, they're pigs! Anyway, what's going on with Ben and J-Lo?"”

Kathy Griffin

Allegedly (2004)

“(About Joe Jackson) First of all, he's sitting there with the pimp hat, and the tattooed drag queen eyebrows. Like maybe this whole time, he just has a separate drag character that he does at night………named La Toya!”

Kathy Griffin

Balls of Steel (2009)

“Because he loves pussy. Except it smells like fish!”

Kathy Griffin

Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)