Karl Pilkington: Trending quotes

Karl Pilkington trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Karl Pilkington: 320 quotes4 likes

“If you had 5 photos of anuses, I could not point mine out”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, Karl on Happiness

“We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 3
On Biology

“Just sort of wander about and that, and just not get seen [What he would do with the power of invisibility]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 4
On Powers

“Lamguage is a powerful thing init…er…”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 4
On Sayings

“At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 3
On Nature

“At no point am I going to lick a little frogs head.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 4
On Nature

“I've met a few little people in my time. I met a little fella once and he was alright. He got drunk really quick, err, but he was alright. But it took me by surprise -like I've said about when I met Steve for the first time, it's only that same thing, then if we lived together I'm sure we'd get on a storm”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 6
On Little People

“I was at some night once, right. It was some night out and er, some people come running on stage. And some music started coming on. These four people came running out, it was two women, two blokes. It wasn't gay an' that. It was just a normal night -well, y'know, some party night out. These people come running on. You've got two women, you've got two blokes. They whip their knickers off. The fellas whip their undies off. All at the same time, like er, whatsit? Cheryl Baker was in it… Bucks Fizz. So that happened and all I'm saying is, right; before I had a look at the woman's bits, I just had a cheeky glance at the fellas' bits, just checkin' it out, checking everything's normal down there. Believe me, I had a look at the ladies' bits but I didn't know how long that pants were going to left off for.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 2
On Nudity

“Karl: You've never been to China.”

Karl Pilkington

An Idiot Abroad

“Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 1
On Art

“It's not going to change the world. But neither did the egg-cup.”

Karl Pilkington

An Idiot Abroad - series 2 (mount Fuji) - Karl talking about his 'PilkoPant' invention.
On Technology

“That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast
On Aesop's Fables

“I was walking past a sex shop an' that. One, it was open early which I never understood, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Who needs butt plugs then?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 2
On Sex

“From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 15 December 2001
On Stephen Merchant

“On seeing an ultrasound picture- It was an awkward situation because she was happy with it. I was like 'Oh God'. It was an odd looking thing. I couldn't say 'Oh, it looks like you' because that would be a dis.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 2
On Medicine

“(on cockroaches living without a head for a week) Why, when it was invented, has it got that facility?”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 18 January 2003
On Nature

“This isn't Amazon where you can go "I'm not happy with the product" and pop it back in the post. Thats it, you've got it”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, Karl on Kids

“Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.”

Karl Pilkington

3 Minute Wonder, Episode 2
On Travel

“If there's one thing we haven't cracked yet in human civilsation, we've never been able to make a good wig. I wouldn't want a wig on me.”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, General Quotes

“Fella comes walking toward me. Only got no pants on. So I said, ‘Suzanne, what's going on?”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 12 October 2002
On Nudity