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Janet Evanovich Quotes
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Janet Evanovich is an American writer. She began her career writing short contemporary romance novels under the pen name Steffie Hall, but gained fame authoring a series of contemporary mysteries featuring Stephanie Plum, a former lingerie buyer from Trenton, New Jersey, who becomes a bounty hunter to make ends meet after losing her job. The novels in this series have been on The New York Times, USA Today, Wall Street Journal and Amazon bestseller lists. Evanovich has had her last seventeen Plums debut at #1 on the NY Times Best Sellers list and eleven of them have hit #1 on USA Today Best-Selling Books list. She has over two hundred million books in print worldwide, and her books have been translated into over 40 languages. Wikipedia  

✵ 22. April 1943  •  Other names Τζάνετ Εβάνοβιτς
Janet Evanovich photo
Janet Evanovich: 133 quotes0 likes

Janet Evanovich Quotes

“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

Janet Evanovich book Hot Six

Source: Hot Six

“God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.”

Janet Evanovich

Source: Motor Mouth

“When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.”

Janet Evanovich Three to Get Deadly

Source: Three to Get Deadly

“Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.”
“Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.”
Eeek.”

Janet Evanovich Hard Eight

Source: Hard Eight

“You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said.
"I just enter. I don't usually break."
"You broke down Pitch's door."
"Lost my temper."

-Ranger and Stephanie”

Janet Evanovich book To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“Did you take Joyce's engine?'
'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”

Janet Evanovich book Lean Mean Thirteen

Source: Lean Mean Thirteen

“I almost never shoot people.”

Janet Evanovich

Variant: Stephanie Plum,"I almost never shoot anyone.

“You never want to look in a mirror," Lula said. "Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym.”

Janet Evanovich book Seven Up

Source: Seven Up

“My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.”

Janet Evanovich book One for the Money

Source: One for the Money

“Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close."
"Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.”

Janet Evanovich High Five

Source: High Five

“Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.”

Janet Evanovich book Seven Up

Source: Seven Up

“Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.”

Janet Evanovich book To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?"
Helen Plum”

Janet Evanovich Two for the Dough

Source: Two for the Dough

“And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.”

Janet Evanovich book One for the Money

Source: One for the Money

“I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table”

Janet Evanovich

Source: Smokin' Seventeen

“I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.”

Janet Evanovich Three to Get Deadly

Source: Three to Get Deadly

“Your on your on with this one babe."
"Coward."
"Calling me names isn't going to get me in there."
-Ranger and Stephanie”

Janet Evanovich book To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.”

Janet Evanovich Three to Get Deadly

Source: Three to Get Deadly

“Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week."
Carl Costanza - Hot Six”

Janet Evanovich book Hot Six

Source: Hot Six

“[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love"
[Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.”

Janet Evanovich

Source: Explosive Eighteen

“As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.”

Janet Evanovich Hard Eight

Source: Hard Eight

“My sex life is okay."

"Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.”

Janet Evanovich Three to Get Deadly

Source: Three to Get Deadly