Janet Evanovich: Trending quotes (page 5)

“You fainted," I told Tank.

"I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.”

“Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.”

“I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.”

“Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.”
“Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?”
“He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.”

“Exercise improves your sex life.
Ranger to Stephanie”

“Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car… just for old times.”

“How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.”

“Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator."
Stephanie Plum”

“Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy.”

“Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie."
"Does this involve death?"
"Not yet."
"Does this involve sex?"
"Not yet."
"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.”

“Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?'
Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.'
Superheroes are make-believe.'
Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?”

“THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.”

“Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out?"
Lula”

“Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat; it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.”

“Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing."
"You're in love with me?"
"You didn't know that?"
"I did, but it's nice to hear."
"Scares the hell out of me.”

“If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.”

“The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics."
Connie Rosolli”

“I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset."
Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.”

“Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli.
"No. Were discussing."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?"
"No."
"The were not fighting.”