Janet Evanovich: Trending quotes (page 2)

“There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.”

“Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.”

“I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman." -Ranger to Stephanie”

“You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick.”

“Happens to me all the time… People are always underestimating my dumbness.”

“I'm sorry about your Porsche."

"I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful."

I was just sitting in your car!"

Babe, you're a magnet for disaster.”

“I shot that sucker right in the gumpy."
Grandma Mazur”

“Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.”

“Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap
cheat sheet.”

“I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.”

“You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.”

“Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."
-Ranger”

“If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.”

“I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?”

“Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.”

“The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.”

“Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me.”

“This is war,' I yelled through the door.
Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.”

“If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."
Ranger”