Groucho Marx: Going

“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.”

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”

“I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.”

“I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

“Hello, I must be going.”

“And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!”

“Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay,
I came to say, I must be going.
I’m glad I came, but just the same,
I must be going.”