Groucho Marx: Trending quotes

“Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?”

“I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.”

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

“Time wounds all heels.”

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”

“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

“I don't have a photograph. I'd give you my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks.”

“This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.”

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”

“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.”

“She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.”

“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”