Eoin Colfer Quotes (185 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

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Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer

Airman

Eoin Colfer

And Another Thing...

Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer

Airman

Eoin Colfer

And Another Thing...

Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer: 185 quotes11 likes

Famous Eoin Colfer Quotes

“Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.”

Eoin Colfer

“HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?
FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (2008)

“Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“So, what did you get for me?"
Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans."
"What?" croaked Artemis.
"And a T-shirt.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

Eoin Colfer: Trending quotes

“Foaly: Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl (2001)

“Artemis Fowl will never be secondary."

"I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer Quotes

“Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?"
"Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember?"
"No. I was unconscious.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“Artemis: I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (2003)

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“Trust me. I'm a genius.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“Good. Illegal is always faster.”

Eoin Colfer

“Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Hey, look—youris saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?”

Eoin Colfer

“Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.”

Eoin Colfer

“Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“I don't like lollipops.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.
--Artemis Fowl”

Eoin Colfer book The Artemis Fowl Files

Source: The Artemis Fowl Files

“In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Half-Moon Investigations

“A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.”

Eoin Colfer book The Artemis Fowl Files

Source: The Artemis Fowl Files

“You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue”

Eoin Colfer

“The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

"Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Arctic Incident

“If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”

Eoin Colfer

“Holly: Stay back human. You don't know what you're dealing with.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl (2001)

“Knock yourself out… Or rather, don't.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it."
Foaly: "Smite it with what? Your secret birthmark?"
Orion: "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Artemis Fowl

“I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Arctic Incident

“No, I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught caught trying to pass off forged credit slips by signing his own name.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Arctic Incident

“Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“I feel a little dizzy," said Orion. "But also wonderfully elated. I feel that I am on the verge of finding a rhyme for the word."

"Oxygen deprivation," said Foaly. "Or maybe it's just him.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Arctic Incident

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“A cloak of invisibility? This is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out of his armpit?”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“My bugs don't have bugs.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

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American author None

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Anthony Robbins62

Author, actor, professional speaker None