Eoin Colfer: Trending quotes

“A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.”

“People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.”

“Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.”

“Artemis Fowl will never be secondary."

"I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.”

“Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?"
"Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember?"
"No. I was unconscious.”

“HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?
FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.”

“Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?”

“So, what did you get for me?"
Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans."
"What?" croaked Artemis.
"And a T-shirt.”

“Foaly: Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”

“Artemis: I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”

“Trust me. I'm a genius.”

“No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.”

“Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.”

“Good. Illegal is always faster.”

“Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.”

“Hey, look—youris saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?”

“Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder”

“You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.”