Emo Philips: Quotes about love

Emo Philips is American comedian. Explore interesting quotes on love.
Emo Philips: 66   quotes 9   likes

“I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.”

Emo Philips

E=MO² (1985), Track Two + Track Two continued

Love , Beauty

“Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the Devil. Other than that, though, it's been a good day.”

Emo Philips

Opening line
E=MO² (1985), A Fine How Ya Do

Love , Life , Time

“I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was… conscious. … But I love her from the hair on her head to the tag on her toes.”

Emo Philips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRp_r-EHmfs

Love , Way , Girl , Night

“Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.”

Emo Philips

Voted 44th funniest joke of all time in "The 75 Funniest Jokes of All Time" in GQ magazine (June 1999)
E=MO² (1985), Die, heretic!

God , Guy , Love