Derek Landy Quotes

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“This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done?”

“Life isn't fair,' Skulduggery said. 'In my experience, death isn't so different.”

“You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant."
"We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.”

“And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns.”

“You need to find yourself a new hero." - Skulduggery Pleasant.”

“I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.”

“Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.”

“Are you sulking?”
“Me? No. I don’t sulk.”
“You sound like you’re sulking.”
“I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.”

“But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.”

“And what about magic?”
“What about it?”
“Will you teach me?”
“You don’t even know if you’re capable of doing magic.”
“How do I find out? Is there a test or something?”
“Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.”

“That was a good day for me," Skulduggery said. "I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.”

“Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eighth or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise you know? 'oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought”

“By the time they got to Denholm Street, day had been beaten back and the night was soaking through the city.”

“Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.”
“Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.”

“I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.”

“He stepped closer to her. "Thank you for saving me," he said softly, and wrapped the bones of his arms around her. Valkyrie smiled and hugged him back.”

“Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be.”

“If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.”

“I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don't participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can allow the uncertainty of war to crash down upon us.”

“Her father sagged as relief spread through him. “I thought
something awful was happening.”
She frowned. “Something awful was happening. It could have
got stuck in my hair.”

“Thank you,” Skulduggery said to her. “I fear he was about to start insulting me.”
“I couldn’t let that happen,” she said. “Your ego is a fragile and delicate thing.”
“You see? You understand me.”

“With his sunglasses gone and his scarf hanging down, there was no denying that he had no flesh, he had no skin, he had no eyes and he had no face.
All he had was a skull for a head.”

“Reading those books is all he does these days. I think he’s even read some of them. What kind of disturbed individual would read the same book twice, I ask you?”

“You've been reading Gordan's book again, haven't you?"
"It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride," she mumbled.”

“China is the same age as I am, and even I have to admit that she wears it better!" He laughed, then stopped and peered at her. "Because I'm a skeleton" he explained.”

“We may need to focus here.'
'Right. Yes. OK. Turn around.'
'Are you going to throw something at me?'
'What? No, I'm getting out of bed.”

“She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity."
"You're saying she's a mood swing?"
He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her mood swing."
"Don't even joke about that.”

“Annis had never been a people person, unless ‘people person’ was defined as a person who ate people.”

“We live in a time of fear," Skulduggery said, "where we're too scared of upsetting the status quo to ask the questions we need to be asking.”

“Doesn't sunlight kill them? Doesn't it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?"
"Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.”

“Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors ofand it's sequels, and”

“They faced each other. 'I'm going to enjoy this,'Melancholia said.
'I daresay I'm not.”

“I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.”

“Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her
father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he
nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware
when he thought no one was looking”

“I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on you losing your head.”
“I didn't lose it. It was stolen.”

“Dublin City was quiet when they reached the Waxwork Museum, as if it was holding its breath.”

“There's no such thing as winning or losing. There isand there is; there isand. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still leftt to fight for.”

“Do you think it would be quite so easy to kill them now that your weapon has been destroyed?' he sneered. 'No,' she said, frowning at him, 'Obviously not.”

“When I meet people, I no longer say "Hi, I'm Derek Landy, pleased to meet you." Now I say "Hi, I'm number one bestselling author Derek Landy. Worship me.”

“The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car.”

“You said I was your number-one pick."
"And you are. In our hearts. Alphabetically, though, Dusk comes before you.”

“It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride.”

“You’re seventeen. You’re supposed to be dealing with school and hormones and dim-witted parents. You’re supposed to be finding out who you are as a person.”
“But I already know who I am,” Valkyrie said. “I’m a world-breaker.”

“People!" she screamed. "There are people here! New people!”

“Even as she'd been writing it, she wondered if she was using too many exclamation marks, but she was glad she left them in. Nothing says "all is good in the world" like exclamation marks, after all.”

“Well, yeah, but she, like, twenty-two. And shelike a four-year-old.”

“While my insides may be rotten, I still like a good reason to kill someone. It has to be either business, personal, or out of sheer boredom.”

“Sanguine felt the ridiculous urge to reach out and poke him, just to see if he’d react, but he’d seen that kind of anger before. It was the quiet kind. The dangerous kind.”

“Tanith has a sword.' said Valkyrie. 'I want a stick.'
'I'll get you a stick for Christmas”