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Derek Landy Quotes
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Derek Landy is an Irish author and screenwriter, best known for the Skulduggery Pleasant series of young adult's books.

✵ 23. October 1974  •  Other names Дерек Ланди
Derek Landy photo
Derek Landy: 167 quotes51 likes

Derek Landy Quotes

“That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.

Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“We punch people, Valkyrie. That’s who we are. Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.”

Derek Landy

Variant: Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.
Source: Death Bringer

“Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.”
Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Variant: I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.
Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.”

Derek Landy

Source: Dark Days

“Found something?”
“No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh… more floor.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“Then I reckon we got ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff."
…
Nobody moved, or said anything, for the next few moments.
"Old-fashioned standoffs are mighty borin”

Derek Landy

Source: The Faceless Ones

“So he has no head'
'Thats usually what headless means'
'No head at all?'
'Your really not getting the whole headless thing are you?'
'Its just kind of silly even for us…”

Derek Landy

Source: Mortal Coil

“An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.
'I could have tripped.'
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
'I'm joking,' he said at last.
She relaxed. 'Really?'
'Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?'
'You can call me whatever you like.'
Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“I think zombies are kind of cute.”
“Seriously?”
“I may be thinking about bunnies. Which one has the fluffy little tail, zombies or bunnies?”
“Bunnies.”
“Then it’s bunnies I’m thinking of.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“They might be kittens," she said hopefully.
"They're stalking us."
"They might be shy."
"I don't think it's kittens, Valkyrie."
"Puppies, then?”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“Well, to put it delicately, she has the power to suck out people's brains.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is."
"Okay."
Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"No, only joking. Do your worst.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“But if you can confront your inner demons—"

"I did confront my inner demon. I punched him in the face and he exploded."

Valkyrie had to laugh. "But now he's back."

"Of course he's back. He's resourceful. He isinner demon, after all.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'

And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“Plans are invitation to disappointment.”

Derek Landy

Mortal Coil

“Are you taking my hat hostage?”

Derek Landy

“I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“Oh, China. How I have missed you.'
'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.'
'Shut your face.'
'Exactly my point.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“The world is bigger than you know, and scarier than you might imagine. The only currency worth anything is being true to yourself, and the only goal worth seeking is finding out who you truly are.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your
beard’s stupid.”
“Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us
getting along so well.”

Derek Landy

Source: The Faceless Ones

“He looked at her. “We’re meant to be together…”
“And this is exactly what I mean.”
“Our love is written in the stars.”
“And there you go again.”
“I love you.”
“You bore me.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.”

Derek Landy

Source: Kingdom of the Wicked

“Is that it?”
“No. That’s a wall.”
“It could be disguised.”
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.”

Derek Landy

Source: Kingdom of the Wicked

“It would be fun,” Skulduggery nodded. ”I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“What?" she asked again.
He pointed ahead of them. "See that?"
"What, the snow?"
"Beyond that."
"More snow?"
"Stop looking at the snow.”

Derek Landy

Source: Kingdom of the Wicked

“Still, he figured, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just got to run like hell after it's done.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“Please forgive me," Pleasant said, then aimed the gun at the girl and pulled the trigger.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“That's ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside."

"Or give them a chance to redeem themselves.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“You say one more thing that sounds like it's ripped from the pages of a really bad gothic romance and I'm out of here, are we clear?" - Valkyrie Cain”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.'
'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?'
'She's three months.'
'She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make
murder into an art form!”
Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl
before falling.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“tanith: have you called the police?
fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon.
tanith: tell them not to bother… im his doctor.
beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather?
tanith: the kind that looks good init”

Derek Landy

Source: The Faceless Ones

“Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked,
keeping her voice low.
“The last time we were in this building, we accused the
Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think
we’ll be waiting long.”

Derek Landy

Source: The Faceless Ones

“Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

Derek Landy

Source: Mortal Coil

“You look angry," he said.
"You put me on hold."
"For a very good reason."
"You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.”

Derek Landy

Source: Kingdom of the Wicked

“Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“We can do this the easy way,' Oblivious snarled. 'Or the hard way.'
'What's the easy way?'
'You leave immediately.'
'And what's the hard way?'
'We make you leave.'
Skulduggery's head tilted. 'What was the easy way again?”

Derek Landy

Source: Death Bringer

“Oh my god you're thicker than you look”

Derek Landy

Source: The Faceless Ones

“Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?”

Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

Source: Skulduggery Pleasant

“She glared at him. “I'm not weird like that. I'm good weird. I'm cool weird.”
“Yes,” he said doubtfully. “Yes, you are.”

Derek Landy

Source: Playing with Fire

“She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties.”

Derek Landy

Source: Mortal Coil