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Denis Leary Quotes

Denis Colin Leary is an American actor, comedian, writer and producer. Leary was the star and co-creator of Rescue Me, which ended its seventh and final season on September 7, 2011. He has starred in many films including playing Captain George Stacy in Marc Webb's film, The Amazing Spider-Man, Cleveland Browns Head Coach Vince Penn in Ivan Reitman's film, Draft Day, and as the voice of Francis in A Bug's Life and Diego in the Ice Age franchise.

From 2015 to 2016, Leary wrote and starred in the comedy series, Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll on FX.

✵ 18. August 1957
Denis Leary photo
Denis Leary: 12 quotes0 likes

Famous Denis Leary Quotes

“There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“We didn't have rehab back in the Seventies. Back in the Seventies, rehab meant you stopped doing coke, but you kept smoking pot and drinking for a couple more weeks.”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup! That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup- that's it!”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, Lock 'n Load (1997)

“I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

Denis Leary Quotes

“…and there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it, you know why? Because we've got the bombs! That's why, yeah! Two words: NUCLEAR FUCKIN' WEAPONS! OK?!”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“Ted Kennedy, a good senator but a bad date you know what I mean? "What'd I forget? Goddamit the fuckin' girl! Jesus Christ where are my pants?"”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“(talking about Marv Albert) Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv. This is God, what the HELL were you thinking?!?”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, Lock 'n Load (1997)

“God.. crack. Only in America would a guy invent crack. Only in America would there be a guy that cocaine wasn't good enough for. You know? One guy walking around New York City back in 1985 going, "You know, that cocaine's pretty good, but I want something that makes my heart explode as soon as I smoke it, ok? I want to take one suck off that crack pipe and go *snort* *splat* Now I'm happy! I'm dead, the ultimate high!"”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, No Cure for Cancer (1993)

“Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever.”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, Lock 'n Load (1997)

“(talking about The Lord Of The Dance) Have you seen that show? If you have, GET OUT! Get the hell out of my show right now!”

Denis Leary

Standup routines, Lock 'n Load (1997)

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