Dave Attell: Man

Dave Attell is comedian. Explore interesting quotes on man.
Dave Attell: 56   quotes 4   likes

“You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.”

Dave Attell

Comedy Central Presents: Dave Attell

Money , Drink

“This one guy, the worse guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician and doesn't do magic, I don't like. I don't even like magic, I hate it. But I love the word, "Ta-da"! I love that word! I don't get to say it, right? I never do any magic. You just cant go around walking, "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" The only time I can say it is when I do something really stupid or surprising. Like if I go out all night drinking and hitting strip clubs and I come home and I still got some money …. "Ta---da!"”

Dave Attell

I thought I was broke. Why does my jaw hurt?
Comedy Central Presents: Dave Attell

Love , Money , Hate , Stupidity

“Every man wonders about the size of their penis. Laying in bed alone at night, or in a hammock with a parrot. You start thinking, “Do I have a small penis or just gigantic balls?””

Dave Attell

"Skanks for the Memories"

Thinking , Night

“Some people are against porno movies. And I say hey, Ohio, Kentucky, and Iran: I say, hey - whatever a man, and a woman, and another woman with a penis and a midget do to a donkey, that's their garsh-darn business.”

Dave Attell

Comedy Central Presents: Dave Attell

People , Business

“Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.”

Dave Attell

Comedy Central Presents: Dave Attell

Beauty , Sex