Quotes from book

One for the Money

“I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?”

“And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.”

“Are you afraid of me?
Uh… yes.'
The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.”

“THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.”

“The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics."
Connie Rosolli”

“I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.”

“I shot that sucker right in the gumpy."
Grandma Mazur”

“I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy”

“Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car… just for old times.”

“I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.”

“Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.

Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.”

“You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick.”

“I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"
Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum”

“From the look on your face, I'd say you know him."

I nodded. "Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school."

Connie grunted. "Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli”

“It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence."
Joe Morelli”

“I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset."
Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.”

“My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.”

“You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.”

“Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.”