“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”

“Twice we stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twice
we got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was too
stupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day. But we
got it all wrong.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“"my friend and i were watching mtv the other day when nelly came on and my friend was like "omg nelly rules". hes such an idiot, he only listens to trendy music. at least i like original stuff like beyonce.”

“I would like to meet myself sometime to see how I would look to myself. But I'd have to be in an extremely good state of mind on such a day, because I don't like unpleasantness.”

“And I said to myself: That's true, hope needs to be
like barbed wire to keep out despair,
hope must be a mine field.”

“I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked awful, but I always look awful in the mirror. I keep myself going with the firm belief that my real face is much better looking.”

“When I look in the mirror, I just want to like myself… And if I like myself, then I look good.”

“Life is like underwear, should be changed twice a day.”

“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”