“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

—  George Carlin

Last update June 3, 2021. History

Help us to complete the source, original and additional information

Do you have more details about the quote "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defe…" by George Carlin?
George Carlin photo
George Carlin 270
American stand-up comedian 1937–2008

Related quotes

Steven Wright photo

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author

“Life is a campus: in a Greenwich Village bookstore, looking for a New Yorker collection, I asked of an earnest-looking assistant where I might find the humour section. Peering over her granny glasses, she enquired, "Humour studies would that be, sir?"”

Keith Waterhouse (1929–2009) British writer

The Spectator, January 15, 1994

Roger Ebert photo

“An honest bookstore would post the following sign above its 'self-help' section: 'For true self-help, please visit our philosophy, literature, history and science sections, find yourself a good book, read it, and think about it.”

Roger Ebert (1942–2013) American film critic, author, journalist, and TV presenter

Source: I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

David Levithan photo

“Because sometimes you just have to dance like a madman in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore.”

David Levithan Boy Meets Boy

Source: Boy Meets Boy

Gangubai Hangal photo

“But there was a strong bond between us artistes in the old days. I remember when Siddheshwari Devi was laid in bed with paralysis, we went to meet her and asked her if she needed help. She asked me to sing Bhairavi for her. She listened with tears in her eyes.”

Gangubai Hangal (1913–2009) Indian singer

In "On Gangubai Hangal by Sabina Sehgal Computer Science & Engineering - University of Washington".

Mark Twain photo

“She had run down and down and down, and had at last reached a point where medicines no longer had any helpful effect upon her. I said I knew I could put her upon her feet in a week. It brightened her up, it filled her with hope, and she said she would do everything I told her to do. So I said she must stop swearing and drinking, and smoking and eating for four days, and then she would be all right again. And it would have happened just so, I know it; but she said she could not stop swearing, and smoking, and drinking, because she had never done those things. So there it was. She had neglected her habits, and hadn’t any. Now that they would have come good, there were none in stock. She had nothing to fall back on. She was a sinking vessel, with no freight in her to throw overboard and lighten ship withal.”

Mark Twain book Following the Equator

Source: Following the Equator (1897), Ch. I

“I work at Bed Bath and Beyond. I work in the Beyond section. When someone asks me where the Bath section is, I say "It's beyond me."”

Jay London (1966) American comedian

One-liners

William Cecil, 1st Baron Burghley photo

“…for which I heartily thank you as she serveth me to great purpose. For she maketh my hunting very certain and speedy. She hath never failed me, for almost every day this week but brought me in the right way to a deer. And this last week she brought me to a stag which myself had stricken with my bow, being forced to the soil where, with the help of a greater water spaniel that forced him out of the water, your good brach helped to pluck him down.”

William Cecil, 1st Baron Burghley (1520–1598) English statesman

Letter to the Earl of Leicester on a hunting dog he had given Burghley, c. 1580-81.
Conyers Read, Lord Burghley and Queen Elizabeth (London: Jonathan Cape, 1960), p. 257.

Cassandra Clare photo

“she was glad she had been scarred. She said that whoever loved her now would love her true self, and not her pretty face.”

Cassandra Clare book Clockwork Angel

Source: Clockwork Angel

“He said: "If I thought more of myself?"
"You wouldn't have much difficulty in finding it," she answered. "Let's walk."
He didn't understand the first phrase, but he turned and went by her side, silent while he heard the words.  Much difficulty in finding what? in finding it? the it that could be found if he thought of himself more; that was what he had said or she had said, whichever had said that the thing was to be found, as if Adela had said it, Adela in her real self, by no means the self that went with Hugh; no, but the true, the true Adela who was apart and his; for that was the difficulty all the while, that she was truly his, and wouldn't be, but if he thought more of her truly being, and not of her being untruly away, on whatever way, for the way that went away was not the way she truly went, but if they did away with the way she went away, then Hugh could be untrue and she true, then he would know themselves, two, true and two, on the way he was going, and the peace in himself, and the scent of her in him, and the her, meant for him, in him; that was the she he knew, and he must think the more of himself.”

Charles Williams book Descent into Hell

Descent into Hell (1937), Ch. 5, "Return to Eden"

Related topics