“Whether you take the doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit.”

“This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.”

“Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole! ”

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut; I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here…oh, wait it's at home…in the file…under 'D', for doughnut."”

“Donna needs a doughnut!”

“I told Tantalus to go chase a doughnut.”

“Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?”

“But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil, damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness . . .. . . which could obviously be redeemed only by passing through the fiery, cleansing inferno of a wizardly digestive tract.”

“As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two.”

“Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.”