“Back off, asshole. I haven't had a woman today, so I'm in no mood for this kind of bullshit.”

“I’m not mad. I’m in a perfectly happy mood, you asshole.”

“I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.”

“I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried. It never kicked in, I took it back to the store and said "Bullshit!"”

“Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.”

“They can't drop the charges without saying I haven't done anything wrong. And if they do that, I'm going to ask for my marijuana back.”

“I don't back any party, I'm better off setting an example.”

“Today’s tyranny is achieved by flooding people with so much diversion, so much bullshit information and frivolous distraction, that they are unable to make smart commitments.”

“As long as I'm the director of Miss Nevada, we will never award fur coats as prizes, and I urge my fellow pageant directors to make the same pledge. Kind people today are taking a stand against cruelty to animals—so a fur coat is no prize for a compassionate, socially-aware woman.”

“I looked like a woman in glasses, but I had dreams of leading a very different kind of life, the life of a woman who would not wear glasses, the kind of woman I saw from a distance now and then in a bar.”