“Definitely avoid going out with ugly girls who say they want to be models. Not because they're ugly, but because they're mad".”

“Suicide bombers are easy to spot. They give out all kinds of telltale signs. Mostly because they're nervous. By definition they're all first-timers.”

“[M]en who work to make it as computer whizzes or owners of black Porsches[…] are confused when they're told they are not vulnerable enough. We can't fall in love with men who appear invulnerable and expect vulnerability. Why did he want a black Porsche? Because he never saw an ugly woman get out of one.”

“Why do you think people cheat?," I asked.
"Because they're bored? Because they can? Because they're selfish and think they're entitled to anything they want? Because they don't think they'll get caught?”

“There are only two things: love, all sorts of love, with pretty girls, and the music of New Orleans or Duke Ellington. Everything else ought to go, because everything else is ugly.”

“People who have goals succeed because they know where they're going. It's that simple.”

“Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a… secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control language because that's the way you control thought, and basically that's the game they're in.”

“The natives grieve
When the white men leave
Their huts.
Because they're obviously,
Definitely
Nuts.”

“I hate flowers — I paint them because they're cheaper than models and they don't move!”

“Maybe they didn't make vampires out of ugly people. Or maybe ugly people just didn't want to live forever.”