“I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”

— Steven Wright

Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Steven Wright 178

American actor and author 1955

Jay London (1966) American comedian

One-liners

“He left no time to regret,
Kept his dick wet,
With his same old safe bet.
Me & my head high,
And my tears dry,
Get on without my guy.”

Amy Winehouse (1983–2011) English singer and songwriter

Back To Black
Song lyrics, Back To Black (2006)

“I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get.”

Rodney Dangerfield (1921–2004) American actor and comedian

Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 17

“See, this CD is in stores. The only way I could get my old CD into a store is if I were to take one in and leave it. Then the guys says "Sir, you forgot this!" "No, I did not. That is for sale. Please alphabetize it."”

Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005) American stand-up comedian

Mitch All Together (2003)

“What a sea
Of melting ice I walk on!”

Philip Massinger The Maid of Honour

The Maid of Honour (c. 1621; printed 1632), Act III, scene iii.

“I bring you the light and heat of the soul. Just as the sun melts the ice of your mountains so Jesus Christ will melt the ice of your hearts.”

Anatole France book Penguin Island

Book I : The Beginnings, Ch. V : The Baptism Of The Penguins
Penguin Island (1908)
Context: Touched by their attention, the holy man taught them the Gospel.
"Inhabitants of this island, the earthly day that has just risen over your rocks is the image of the heavenly day that rises in your souls. For I bring you the inner light; I bring you the light and heat of the soul. Just as the sun melts the ice of your mountains so Jesus Christ will melt the ice of your hearts."
Thus the old man spoke. As everywhere throughout nature voice calls to voice, as all which breathes in the light of day loves alternate strains, these penguins answered the old man by the sounds of their throats. And their voices were soft, for it was the season of their loves.