“Only an ignorant person does not know the difference between criticism and humiliation. All attempts to demean, hurt, and put down with sarcasm, harsh words, curses, and mockery that deny manners and politeness. All actions that provoke anger, irritation and cause hurt feelings are not a form of criticism but humiliation.”

— Titon Rahmawan

Last update March 29, 2025. History

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“The sadistic person is as dependent on the submissive person as the latter is on the former; neither can live without the other. The difference is only that the sadistic person commands, exploits, hurts, humiliates, and that the masochistic person is commanded, exploited, hurt, humiliated. This is a considerable difference in a realistic sense; in a deeper emotional sense, the difference is not so great as that which they both have in common: fusion without integrity.”

Erich Fromm book The Art of Loving

Source: The Art of Loving (1956), Ch. 2

“The humble Cumulus humilis - never hurt a soul.”

Gavin Pretor-Pinney (1950) British writer

Source: The Cloudspotter's Guide

“Reconciliation between our communities, following all the hurt and distress of 2000, is a critical part of the reconstruction of the country.”

Laisenia Qarase (1941) Prime Minister of Fiji

Excerpts from an address to the Commonwealth Workshop in Nadi, 29 August 2005

“Compassion constitutes a radical form of criticism, for it announces that the hurt is to be taken seriously, that the hurt is not to be accepted as normal and natural but is an abnormal and unacceptable condition for humanness.”

Walter Brueggemann (1933) American theologian

“What hurts is not the criticism of our enemies, but rather it is the silence of our friends that truly hurts.”

Yasir Qadhi (1975) Pakistani-American preacher and imam

“criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurt his sense of importace and arouse resentment.”

Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People

Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People

“She brightened. "Last week I ran a personal ad in the Guardian. I answered a few too. I'm not looking for sex; I feel too vulnerable for that. I just want somebody to hurt me and humiliate me."”

Mary Gaitskill (1954) Novelist, short story writer, essayist

"The Wrong Thing: Stuff" in Because They Wanted To, p. 244, Simon & Schuster, 1997.

“Still, we will let all this be a thing of the past, though it hurts us, and beat down by constraint the anger that rises inside us.
Now I am making an end of my anger. It does not become me, unrelentingly to rage on”

Homér Iliad

Source: The Iliad

“Through your actions, you have embarrassed us in the eyes of our children, humiliated us on the world stage and, worst of all, divided us as a nation.
If you think for a moment that your McCarthy-era tactics will suppress the voices of criticism, you are sadly mistaken.”

William H. McRaven (1955) United States admiral

Open letter to US President Donald Trump (2018)
Context: A good leader tries to embody the best qualities of his or her organization. A good leader sets the example for others to follow. A good leader always puts the welfare of others before himself or herself.
Your leadership, however, has shown little of these qualities. Through your actions, you have embarrassed us in the eyes of our children, humiliated us on the world stage and, worst of all, divided us as a nation.
If you think for a moment that your McCarthy-era tactics will suppress the voices of criticism, you are sadly mistaken.

“The best of ideas is hurt by uncritical acceptance and thrives on critical examination.”

George Pólya book How to Solve It

Source: How to Solve It (1945), p. 100

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