First ascribed to Wilde by The Boston Globe in 1991. The joke probably appeared for the first time in 1917, when The Atchison Weekly Globe attributed it to a local man named Frank Fiest.
Misattributed
Source: My Idea of a Gentleman Is He Who Can Play a Cornet and Won’t, Quote Investigator, 14 August 2021 https://quoteinvestigator.com/2019/04/21/cornet/,
“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.”
“I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.”
1850s, Latter-Day Pamphlets (1850), Stump Orator (May 1, 1850)
“An old definition of a gentleman: someone who is never rude except on purpose.”
2000s, 2001, Letters to a Young Contrarian (2001)
“A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do, but what he should do.”
Source: Norwegian Wood
"Jonathan Bailey: Jonathan Bailey on starring in The York Realist, humanising LGBT history and the importance of community" in the Evening Standard https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/theatre/jonathan-bailey-on-starring-in-the-york-realist-humanising-lgbt-history-and-the-importance-of-community-a3761256.html (8 February 2018)
The Noble Spanish Soldier (1622)
