“I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Do You Believe in Gosh?

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Mitch Hedberg 101

American stand-up comedian 1968–2005

Jay London (1966) American comedian

One-liners

“I used to work in a record store. I'm kind of a record nerd.”

Patrick Stump (1984) American musician

TV.com

“right' i said. 'but first, we need the car. and after that, the cocaine. and then the tape recorder, for special music, and some acapulco shirts.”

Hunter S. Thompson book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Source: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

“There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who alphabetize their record collections, and the kind who don't.”

Sarah Vowell book The Partly Cloudy Patriot

Source: The Partly Cloudy Patriot

“Yeah, I was a postcard, I was a record
I was a camera until I went blind”

Conor Oberst (1980) American musician

train under water
I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning (2005)

“I am one of the best kept secrets in jazz history. Many of my early records are hard to find and it is still difficult to release new ones.”

Clare Fischer (1928–2012) American keyboardist, composer, arranger, and bandleader

As quoted in "Clare Fischer: The Best Kept Secret in Jazz" http://www.artistinterviews.eu/?page_id=5&parent_id=22/

“A record, if it is to be useful to science, must be continuously extended, it must be stored, and above all it must be consulted.”

Vannevar Bush book As We May Think

As We May Think (1945)

“The sports page records people's accomplishments, the front page usually records nothing, but man's failures.”

Barbara Walters (1929) American broadcast journalist, author, and television personality

Occasionally attributed to Walters; actually said by Earl Warren, as quoted in Sports Illustrated (July 22, 1968).
Misattributed

“History is nothing but assisted and recorded memory.”

George Santayana (1863–1952) 20th-century Spanish-American philosopher associated with Pragmatism

Source: The Life of Reason: The Phases of Human Progress (1905-1906), Vol. V, Reason in Science, Ch. 2 "History"
Context: History is nothing but assisted and recorded memory. It might almost be said to be no science at all, if memory and faith in memory were not what science necessarily rest on. In order to sift evidence we must rely on some witness, and we must trust experience before we proceed to expand it. The line between what is known scientifically and what has to be assumed in order to support knowledge is impossible to draw. Memory itself is an internal rumour; and when to this hearsay within the mind we add the falsified echoes that reach us from others, we have but a shifting and unseizable basis to build upon. The picture we frame of the past changes continually and grows every day less similar to the original experience which it purports to describe.

“The minute I started breaking the all-time record in record sales—I broke Elvis's records, I broke Beatles records—the minute it became the all-time best-selling album in the history of the Guinness Book of World Records, overnight they called me a freak. They called me a homosexual. They called me a child molester. They said I bleached my skin. They made everything to turn the public against me.”

Michael Jackson (1958–2009) American singer, songwriter and dancer

Remarks at National Action Network headquarters (9 July 2002)

“I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized.”

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Mitch Hedberg 101

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