“…why doesn't somebody write a tract on "How to Be a Christian and yet keep your Hands off of Other People's Things."”

“Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.”

“If your writing doesn't keep you up at night, it won't keep anyone else up either”

“Approaching Christianity as a brand explains why the majority of people who identify themselves as Christians live no differently than other Americans yet spend enormous amounts of money on Christian products.”

“Why should you shake hands with somebody who's keeping Americans in prison? I mean, what's the point? Neville Chamberlain shook hands with Hitler.”

“Wise people are in want of nothing, and yet need many things. On the other hand, nothing is needed by fools, for they do not understand how to use anything, but are in want of everything.”

“A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”

“If your book doesn't keep you up nights when you are writing it, it won't keep anyone up nights reading it.”

“Anyway, it doesn't matter how much, how often, or how closely you keep an eye on things because you can't control it. Sometimes things and people just go. Just like that.”

“I have learned that any fool can write a bad ad, but that it takes a real genius to keep his hands off a good one.”